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in_the_blueThanks, everyone, for all your hugs and good wishes and everything. I told the vet this morning that I've had pets my whole life, but I have never been as much in love with an animal as I was (and still am) with my little Fudge kitty. This was very difficult because last night, when I had her at home, she slept curled up next to me under the blanket and purred all night long. She seemed perfectly content and frisky this morning and I would have had a lot more trouble not second-guessing myself if it hadn't been for the fact that her nausea was back already. I suppose she might have been all right for another day, maybe two, but the idea of letting my baby lapse again into pain just to satisfy my own insecurity and pride wasn't enough to make me change my mind.
So I took her to the vet and things were peaceful for Fudge. I cried many tears and all that stuff, and now I'll be without my bedtime kitty. As my husband pointed out, we aren't suffering from a shortage of cats and that's true, but still. I used to think there were only really two or three cat molds and all of them were poured into one of the three when they were sorted, but now I disagree. They've all got such sweetly distinctive personalities... although I have a sneaking suspicion that our stray black cat (one of the nastiest cats I've ever met) is the reincarnation of my friend Marie's black cat Xerxes (the other nastiest cat I've ever met). Funny how they come back to haunt us.
I don't like to linger in a place of pain but I know I'll be going back and forth for visits for the foreseeable future. Sometimes, though, it's easier to have a thing done than to have to contemplate doing it. I think every moment we had together was such a gift, and for that, I'm enormously grateful.
In other news... the glow-in-the-dark bowling party was the HUGEST success of any party I've ever seen for Hannah or her friends. I only wish they'd told me that if we wanted pizza we had to call and order it a day in advance, but it wasn't the end of the world. We just traded one type of junk food for five or six others, and all the kids showed up, and they all got to bowl under blacklights for two hours' worth of unlimited bowling, and man, they all had such a great time. Some of the parents stayed to bowl too. I didn't bowl because I figured someone had to be the responsible party, but it was really fun. I was also very glad for the distraction.
I can't belive my daughter's 11. Maybe not for another 20 minutes or so by my clock, but definitely by China's clock. Wow. She's such a great kid.
So I took her to the vet and things were peaceful for Fudge. I cried many tears and all that stuff, and now I'll be without my bedtime kitty. As my husband pointed out, we aren't suffering from a shortage of cats and that's true, but still. I used to think there were only really two or three cat molds and all of them were poured into one of the three when they were sorted, but now I disagree. They've all got such sweetly distinctive personalities... although I have a sneaking suspicion that our stray black cat (one of the nastiest cats I've ever met) is the reincarnation of my friend Marie's black cat Xerxes (the other nastiest cat I've ever met). Funny how they come back to haunt us.
I don't like to linger in a place of pain but I know I'll be going back and forth for visits for the foreseeable future. Sometimes, though, it's easier to have a thing done than to have to contemplate doing it. I think every moment we had together was such a gift, and for that, I'm enormously grateful.
In other news... the glow-in-the-dark bowling party was the HUGEST success of any party I've ever seen for Hannah or her friends. I only wish they'd told me that if we wanted pizza we had to call and order it a day in advance, but it wasn't the end of the world. We just traded one type of junk food for five or six others, and all the kids showed up, and they all got to bowl under blacklights for two hours' worth of unlimited bowling, and man, they all had such a great time. Some of the parents stayed to bowl too. I didn't bowl because I figured someone had to be the responsible party, but it was really fun. I was also very glad for the distraction.
I can't belive my daughter's 11. Maybe not for another 20 minutes or so by my clock, but definitely by China's clock. Wow. She's such a great kid.
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Date: 2006-05-20 07:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 07:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 08:55 am (UTC)Hope your other cats are cheering you up.
P.S Glow in the dark bowling is AWESOME.
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Date: 2006-05-20 10:20 am (UTC)And happy birthday to Hannah! Strange how with such sadness comes a day meant for celebration. It seems in the spirit of what you mentioned--thinking of moments spent together as a gift. Sometimes when things are hard and sad we can forget that the moment we're in, the people we're with--these are all gifts as well, despite the sadness. I'm glad you had Hannah's party to perhaps remind you of that just a little.
And as for me, every day I consider being your friend and having you in my corner a blessed gift. You are an amazing woman, one that I hope to emulate in so many ways as I fumble through this transient stage of my life.
*more hugs* *and still more* *and tons and tons of love, as well*
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Date: 2006-05-20 10:51 am (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-05-20 11:55 am (UTC)And sheesh, eleven... she's officially a pre-teen.
Let's hope her preteenhood is far better than mine was.no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 02:01 pm (UTC)*hugs*
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Date: 2006-05-20 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 02:47 pm (UTC)I'm glad Fudge had such a good night, and I'm so sorry.
Glow-in-the-dark bowling sounds like great fun! Happy birthday to Hannah. :)
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Date: 2006-05-20 03:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 04:09 pm (UTC)I think it's worth the risk. I'm sorry you lost your sweet kitty.
Happy birthday to Hannah, though! Has she gotten her Hogwarts letter yet?
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Date: 2006-05-20 04:20 pm (UTC)Happy Birthday, Hannah! Glad to hear the bowling party was a success. They call it cosmic bowling here at the base bowling alley, and the kids love it.
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Date: 2006-05-20 04:33 pm (UTC)The party sounds great. I'm glad everything went well.
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Date: 2006-05-20 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-20 07:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-21 01:44 am (UTC)No more, and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to; tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished.--Shakespeare
You did the right thing. <3 I pray I have the same courage you have shown when Willy can't get around any longer. Now if they made wheel chairs for cats.....
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Date: 2006-05-21 01:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-21 03:38 am (UTC)Aleister Monster is looking after Fudge now. He always loved girl kitties.