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in_the_blue) wrote2010-05-31 11:23 am
in_the_blue) wrote2010-05-31 11:23 am
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Keep a poor girl from smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo getting bored?
First eight people who comment with a prompt, I'll write you a ficlet. You know my interests and fandoms, so have at it.
Edited to add: YOU PEOPLE HAVE LOST ON THE BRAIN!Don't let the number of comments fool you. I have room for more.
First eight people who comment with a prompt, I'll write you a ficlet. You know my interests and fandoms, so have at it.
Edited to add: YOU PEOPLE HAVE LOST ON THE BRAIN!
Kate
My love and I in a small cafe.
Then a stranger came along,
And everything went wrong.
Now there's three cigarettes in the ashtray.
Okay, this is it: she gives Tom the signal. This is the big moment and they say practice makes perfect. Tom's the perfect lookout, too, that little airplane tucked away, and that lady talking about her farm is another really good distraction. The lunchboxes are right... over... here.
That's it, that's the one, the New Kids on the Block one. Reaching out, she almost has it in her hand when she hears a grownup's voice. Crap! Busted!
"Of course, one has to make a choice in all things he or she does. But let me give you a small piece of advice, young lady."
The guy's smoking a cigarette and he's dressed like a total dork in that suit -- who dresses like that? no one -- and he looks all greasy and stupid, but she's not afraid. She's not afraid in the least. Defiant arms fold over her chest; her lower lip pouts menacingly.
"I don't take advice from strangers."
"Only lunchboxes, I see." He waves his fingers as if dismissing the entire notion. "Now, it couldn't possibly make the least bit of difference to me if you steal a lunchbox or if you don't. That's not where my interest lies. The advice I have for you is far more critical than that." A line of smoke floats up toward the store's ceiling and as much as she doesn't want to watch it, she can't help it. It's like time's stood still for just a moment.
How did he know she was going to steal one of these? Who is he? It doesn't really matter. "Critical, huh? Spit it out, seeing as how you just blew my opportunity." The neighbor woman finishes paying for her stuff; Tom fidgets by the door and the look he gives her is a pleading one.
The weird old man laughs and leans forward, and he smells like smoke and rose petals and fresh rain and she doesn't know why. "Don't tell anyone, but New Kids on the Block will be so passé in a few short years. The lunchbox you really want to steal is this one." He points to a Super Mario Brothers box; she can't help but snort aloud.
"That's stupid. I don't want that."
"Oh, but you will in about twenty years, Miss Austen. It will be worth a small fortune." Conspiratorially, he leans forward. "Go ahead. Now's your opportunity. Bury it away for a time. You'll thank me later."
"You're weird and dumb. Go away."
He does. Just like that he vanishes; Tom gives her the hurry up! sign. She doesn't want a dumb Super Mario Brothers lunchbox -- she wants New Kids on the Block -- but he said... so what's she supposed to do?
While the shopkeeper's back is turned she puts both in her backpack, grabs Tom by the hand, and runs out of the store giggling. It's a beautiful sunny day, the kind that's just perfect for climbing trees.
Re: Kate
Little Kate is a fantastically little no-nonsense opportunist about her New Kids lunchbox. I love that she took both lunchboxes. I love that she thinks Gaius looks "all greasy and stupid," I think Gaius's voice here is pretty impressive, and I love this exchange:
"I don't take advice from strangers."
"Only lunchboxes, I see."
Leaving all of my more general comments here, I'll also say that I love the impressions Six and Gaius leave on each character. This was a delight to read.
Re: Kate
All in all, it was much easier for me to write Gaius than Six. Once I'd decided to redo each scene, all I had to figure out was which angel was the more appropriate and what the differences would/should/could be.
Little Kate was a lot of fun to write. More tough than nervous, more eye-rolling than rule-following, I could just see her dishing it back out to Gaius. I don't know what difference not getting caught shoplifting will make to her future, but I do know it was a good day for trees.
Little Sawyer could have gone one of two ways. I do like that he's internally defiant with Six and I think in this crossover reality he might still go back and rewrite his letter a lot of times over the course of his life, but being empowered to erase it might change him in so many ways. I don't know. It's all hypothetical. He's still going to be told to be tough and get over things, of course.
Sun and Jin: I couldn't resist putting in both Six and Gaius, so I'm glad you liked that it went that way. I have to say that Jin's his Korean is excellent is one of my very favorite lines, canonically, so I was pretty thrilled to be able to use it. I like that Six and Gaius ended up being the antithesis of what Sun wanted her relationship to be with Jin, and that they were both forgotten afterward. Setting it at the wedding meant I really couldn't change it too much because of the constraints of the day, but it was fun finessing the details.
Jack was going to be seduced by Six one way or another (she had to try it with someone, and Gaius wasn't available). I figured he was the most likely candidate, and she did make a pretty good substitute for an Apollo bar. I also couldn't resist his do I know you? line because he uses that canonically a number of times, and to do it after making out with her at the hospital kind of cracked me up (along with the icon; I'm shy on Jack icons).
I knew that in this version of things Nadia wasn't going to get hit by a car, not that it couldn't happen again later. Just not in my fic: I needed a reason for Sayid not to get distracted to the point of losing Nadia and since they were just talking about their anniversary trip, it made sense to me that Sayid would be less likely to talk to a hooker-looking lady. This one actually started in my mind with him deciding blondes weren't his thing, in part because I never really believed in Sayid/Shannon and in part because he probably really needs to be in control in most given situations.
Hurley... I just love. Much of his dialog is ripped straight from canon, but he was all... dude, I don't know what your deal is, but leave me alone with Gaius. He might have thought himself crazy (and here there was no confirmation from the Jacob substitute that he wasn't, mostly because Gaius always pretty much doubted his own sanity) but he knew this other guy was. And echoing canon for him, it was inevitable that the cab driver wouldn't see Gaius there at all.
Thanks for the prompt! I loved it, and it definitely kept me from smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo all day. ♥